...old ma sentiments...

Everytime I hear her voice, I dunno if she really intends to do it but every word that came out in her mouth will only make me: irritated, mad or will just make me feel like a crap. You know the feeling that you’re about to fell to the ground and she just push you right there to it! Right to that ground, crushes your ego and remaining little hopes.

So why blame me if I don’t wanna speak to her? She never really had the motherly eminence that a child would like to have. Even if you don’t wanna talk about a certain issue she’ll just continue to push it, push it to humiliate yourself and make you feel even worse. Instead of clearing confusions and frustrations she’ll just throw it twice right back to you and will make you realize that you are the lousiest idiot in the planet. She’ll only add more negativity to you no matter how visibly hurt you are…

My sentiments, my apology…this is just the way I feel. I’m sorry but a wound that started long ago can’t be cured that abruptly and sometimes I wonder if will it ever really heal?

I dunno. All I know is that sometimes? I wish I could’ve had a different mom. A very strong statement right? But I’m not seeking approval here or something, I’m just here to express how I feel and these feelings? Just don’t come because of the spur of the moment thing, it has a long time basis. Life is not perfect, so much like this.