..Saved...

Before we wake up each day just because we need to go to school or work, do the same chores we do everyday, eat so our tummy wont growl and then go home, sleep and then do the same things over and over again. Then, at some point we’ll realize, we’re doing things ordinarily and redundant that we lose sense of what we really do…we feel so bored, lethargic, uninterested and so unspecial. We started questioning ourselves if this is what we really want to live for the rest of our lives and ponder if we just take the other way around to turn our life upside down. We feel shackled and suffocated of all the monotonous things we do it is as if we just do this things because we are oblige to or we have a responsibility to do it and not because we like it or this is really our passion. As this continues, we become more and more frustrated each day; massive feelings and anxieties will pile up and accumulate acute depression of some sort. We loose our purpose and the worst scenario is that we will loose our soul in the process and become just like a zombie, a creature that moves but has no desires or whatsoever in life! All it does is to move …do the things it was accustomed to…no complain, no joy, no emotions.

Have you ever felt that way? I have. And to tell you I was a walking zombie before! I was negotiated to go to a school and enter a course I don’t like before, it was really a living disaster for me…coz I am away with my highschool friends, I had to stay to the dorm, I have no other places I can go and party at and I felt that in that stinking school I can never really find a decent friend I can ever go along with. Everyday I was just waking up, eating, doing homeworks and school stuffs…so maybe you’ll ask if it’s really not my interest to study there and taking up that course, why still insist of going and actually learning it? I study because my ego can’t take it if I fail! I study so that my ego won’t be crushed…eventhough I don’t get the chance to enter the course that I preferred to take, I still don’t like to feel defeated. So in the process of getting accustomed to the school and my course the price i had to pay was my soul, I gradually lose my soul and passion…day by day I survived by just doing things that were told to me. Until one day, a miracle came to me, my soulless body is starting to have one again…my heart, it suddenly beats not that fast and strong but I can hear its puny beat and it made me smile and wonder why all these suddenly occur?

And I found the answer… I’m never really aware of it before but then I saw a light when I looked at my newly found friend there, I gasp for air as realized that she was feeding me that light long before I first knew her. The light that I lack of, the one that I lose before: the light of life and joy. I broke down and then cried I was surprised coz I never really have done that for a long time, then as those tears drop from my eyes, I stood up, hugged her and said: “My frozen heart, my soul that died and my lost passion, do you know that you have awakened and revived all that? You saved me from atrophy…I have my reasons now…do you know how grateful I am to you now?” but my friend didn’t really answered me back, instead she just held my hand and smiled at me and that warmth in her hands made me feel glad coz I knew I have a friend that I can really turn to.

She made me like what I have started before and what I got my self into…funny how powerful a friend can do right? By just the mere touch of the hand, hug, smile and tap in the shoulder one can feel love, acceptance and secure. The innate capability of a friend to make you laugh and understand you can ease a worry and depression. And how a friend’s eagerness and passion can be readily absorbed and then it will make you realize that there are really things in life that you can eventually learn to like and love if only you give it a chance and time. I owe a lot to that friend for if I hadn’t met her I’m still a walking zombie now and I am not capable of writing this composition. That’s why I promised myself I will do the best that I can to be help her at all times and be a friend that she can turn to! :)

Have you found yours? If you felt the way that I did before, don’t worry, everyone likes to be saved and be saved…yours will come and your tormented life and senseless being will be saved too…love can heal the deepest cuts and can cut all emotional baggage of a person and mind you, it really does! It only depends on how you see love…if you see love as a partner or couple thing (e.g. boyfriend, girlfriend) only, then I pity you, for love is almost everywhere! You just don’t get around and appreciate small things in your life: the love of your parents, relatives, sister/brother, friends or even your pet!

Love is really becoming senseless and so void in meaning because people are using its implication and focusing it for themselves and subjective reasons only.

I am just thankful coz I am being loved and saved every single day because I am surrounded by people who truly cares for me. So if ever you read this, thank your loved ones now, ok? Coz at some point in your life they have saved and will save you from something! You're just not aware of it yet…