...reasons...

Before, we dream of a perfect someone, the one that can love us so deep and give us care and attention but now that they already came, we ask ourselves why did God granted our wishes and turned our dreams to actual reality and yet we are still not happy? But then we suddenly realized, we forgot to say and wished the most essential requirement: -that we also have to love them. Irony how love works and damn me for breaking many hearts who loves me.

I’m sorry.

Maybe I don’t know how to love or care? Maybe I’m afraid to lose myself in the process and feel love so before it starts I end it already? Maybe, we’re so fed up to the thought of a fairytale love story that if our story is not in patterned with it, we consider it as a false signal of love?

But I consider love to be realistic…I want to have a connection with someone before we actually establish a real relationship because if we don’t, it’ll be like making a castle out of sand. If there is none, there will be no foundation that keeps the couple together. Though it reflects that I am a coward, I am not. It’s just that the thing about me is that I love so deeply. Loving for me is an ultimate emotion one can offer and feel, it is an unconditional feeling that binds two people closer and when I fall in love? Laugh all you can but when I do love, my world only revolves to that person! So, will you blame me if I take a good care of my heart?! It’s just that I’ve been hurt twice and it hurts like hell! It took me a long time before I moved on and that’s the reason why I am full of reasons when I am dealing with the word “LOVE”. I promised to my heart that I will take good care of her that I won’t let her shatter apart in nothingness and bleed to dry again. That’s the reason why I am meticulous on answering those who court me. I sewn my heart all by myself and I won’t let another guy broke it again. Maybe you’ll say if I take the word love so seriously, why do I play around and flirt with them? –coz when I don’t, you won’t meet people otherwise, I still hope that I can find someone that will fit in to my soul, not just by physical characteristics or so but the one that I can complement his soul and vice versa.

I found him actually, you wouldn’t believe if I tell you…our minds runs like one, our emotions are uniting and our likes our pretty much the same but again, irony….he is taken.

So maybe I’ll sit to the ride of fate again and see what’s in store for me in the love department of my life.