Breathing in the air of a land I never thought I will set foot on...challenging myself to fit in and fighting the urge of nostalgia to not kick in..chasing after my lost dreams and emancipating my soul from grudges & negativity..im trying..trying hard.
I am overwhelmed by all this sudden events but I am not in shock. I am happy that I am here but not totally happy. I'm scared at the momment for everything is so new and so over the top that sometimes I find it hard to follow and comprehend. Every now and then a sudden gloom will penetrate me for no reason but I don't wanna hear a crap about regretting, I'm coping, okay? And Im trying so bad to adjust to this sudden change or else I will be left behind.
It's just that, I suddelnly realized the value of harwork and that being dependent to yourself only can be a little frustrating and lonely at the same time. Growing up, I'm always used to depending my faith in other's hands and now here I am alone and taking care of myself. It's a big change but I'm happy for myself in a way that I'm earning money from my own hard work and eventhough my mother and sister will say it's not that much for a pay and my friends will taunt me for such a low class type of work, which greatly hurt my competitiveness and ego by the way, But you know what? Somewhere deep inside me is a sense of pride for myself coz I greatly earn all that and accomplish it with my own self doing...that for a long time in my 19 years of existence, I found a new reason to be proud of myself and respect her :)
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