My mind is awfully clear yet my eyes are drowning with tears…My whole body is numb from exhaustion and all my day in activities melted like a candle. My hands, filled with eminent proof of hardwork, scratches that embody my struggle to fit in a different world and scars that lingers because of many insecurities. Although my body has been weakened by work I do not complain, my only concern is that I’m curing loneliness with work. I’m trying hard not to be too melodramatic…but everytime I walk home, the faces that always swoon off my mind are the people I left behind coz in them I felt that I truly belong, happy and should I say, I truly felt important.
Living here, gave me a new perspective, a new outlook to life. I learned how to be more mature, more responsible, stronger and more independent than I was before. Because back before in my homeland, we have the culture and mentality that our parents should be responsible for us until more or less we graduated from college. Graduating from college, finding a work and managing our own salary, this is the time we consider ourselves independent from our parents. But here? All of that mentality seems pathetic to me coz I learned that by the age of just 15 here, you can find a job, help a bit in the house expenses, treat yourself or help yourself in your school expenses. I realized how lucky I was before coz my parents are like spoon feeding me with everything that I need and want. I don’t earn or work for it, they work for it and I just ask and I get what I want, how convenient for me right?
I feel quite ashamed for what I did before…being insensitive to my parent's part. Coz like they said before I always think that money can grow on trees, I never value them. But now I know what they meant, big time. I must admit that at the first couple of months I’m annoyed that I have to work, carry loads of heavy Rubbermaid totes or pay a cheque to my sister for a chip in our groceries, believe me there’s a lot of resistance and a bit of anger but you know what? I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything now coz I have transformed into someone I never thought I’d be. These bruises, wound, scars and scratches? I’m not ashamed of them! In fact they are my precious trophies. I won it tough by working hard and the prize is my stronger, better and responsible persona.
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