...forgetful...

how can love be such an excrutiating pain and pleasure at the same time?

if a chose to forget
do i have to regret?
if i feel empty and incomplete
do i have to feel defeat?

i have stored you inside a memory box...i stored you in a place i told myself i will never look back into but why do i have to feel darn gloomy now?

maybe you store me to a place to be forgotten too?! :C

...reminice...

a distant memory,
a far ended past..
a wound that keeps on lingering everyday
a love that has been buried long before keeps on haunting me through my fragile soul
alas!
a madness without any cure..

a tear flowed from my eye
i didnt care i just said bye
leave me poor old memories
for i dont wanna have worries
i love him but i cant love someone whose heart is blind...

why do i have to twinge everytime someone mentions you?
why do i have to feel a quick chill and a sudden gloom?!
love is inevitable but loving him is also an inevitable pain :c

...sacrifice...

what is worse than to have apathy for what you're doing? considering that what you are doing right now is what you're gonna be doing for the rest of your life?

what is worse than to have worries over the future, knowing that your future holds a thousand rewards?

what is worse than to show regret for your decisions eventhough those decisions were just made to please others? what is worse than to have fear to have serious consciousness over something you actually hate?

what is worse than to be at one place and just wish you are somewhere else?

what is worse than to live the dream of someone else?!

i do not see myself like this, never want and dreamed to be...but ita all too late to walk away now...ill just have to take the bullet..suffer for any sacrifice. afterall, sacrifice is for a good cause, right?!

you think im dumb, incompetent, coward and stupid right? dont get me wrong, i also see myself like that...but i cant just throw away the trust and the pride...cant let them down for my own sake.

...rain madness...

dewdrops falling from the heavens..gently filling earth with such blanket of unknown feeling of sadness...hugging a soul whose life turned out to be a big fat lie...regret always visits her but she tries to stay in tact eventhough her whole world is staggering. she cant cry, cant compain for she knows that all of this was her fault. pint of sorrowness come to her, wondering about what could have been if she took the other way around...

i broke a friendship whose keeping me whole and happy eventhough i was flat broke...now that its gone, i am still here but every inch of me is incomplete.

i chose something i thought was the right thing to do, now that i did, i am dying everyday because of apathy...

i lose my inspiration, determination and passion, tell me, what more is there left for me?!

i am lost but i dont wanna be found...

can you take me somewhere else?

i need to breathe...

i need to see life like it was before-

i need to be reborned!