Monday, April 10, 2006

...-...

sa bawat pintig ng
pusong ito...
sa bawat minuto ng
bawat sandali...
tila kay hirap ibaon
at
ibalewala
bawat ala-alang gumuguhit
sa aking gunita...
masaya
ngunit nagbibigay pait
sa aking
kasalukuyan!

...+...

my life?
is a plethora of secrets,
an enigma of lies
for i wear a deceptive mask
but
this mystic creature?
found solace
when she met
you!

...mumbled words...

i ponder through the night by the broad light of the moon...i watched the sky turned from dark to icy blue, watched the sun turns golden and watched the birds flew from every direction...i cant sleep. no, i cant barely close my eyes knowing that every night you still think of her...still wondering what she may be doing at the same time and still hoping that she will love you when the time comes!

you shackled me with your memories and strangled me with your beauty...im a slave in everywhere you look at it. but all these things are killing me with utmost pressure...i want to be free. i wanna wash you off of me. i want to stop this silent torture.

i cant breathe anymore...

...senseless quibble...

the smell of cigar, the luscious
smell of it makes me want
to crave for more, to spit all the
things that makes me ill

go ahead and make me laugh,
spare me a piece of joke
to give this lonesome fool a chance
a chance!
to see thy world from a diffrent angle!

let the wind of change come
and clear out this shitty feeling
that had been bugging me

i envied the star that glows brightly
right in front of my very window...

im jealous of all the children,
laughing all their problems away
and never cared about the austerity of the world

pity to those who never see,
never give a damn care...

tears may drift to my eyes
but never will my care for you...

come with me...
...take the risk
love me...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

...rage...

when all things remain as it is, when all the things that seems to keep you going is now the one that is clinging you down with burden, when all your emotions seem to beall sucked down by time, when all of your friends seem irritating now, when all theshits youve done are now bugging you, when all things are in wreck and seem to cantfind any solution for your problems, when the only person that you depend on brings you down, when the only source of your inspiration becomes the source of destruction,when the world cant seem to find any way to cheer you up, when everything seems monotonously boring,when everday seems like yesterday and the day before, when youcant seem to hear the deafening siren of the bell, when all words are so hard to find to describe every ounce of sadness you feel, when every person that cheers youup is now pissing you out, when youre getting use to the feeling of aloofness, whenthe crunch of pain and longing seems to become bigger and bigger everyday, when living in this damn world seems tiring, when you refuse to know others and be known, when youoften cry but dont know what the hell is the reason, when you feel useless and deprived, when you feel so weak and fragile, irritated, regretful, lonely, when youlong for someone so bad but he aint gonna be there, anyhow...strange but everyday,all this things are packed all in one and delivered to a person named "Rinna"...dwelled and undriven, even if she is lost in silence, she continues to face the lifeshe have always and still hate.

...babae....

may maamong mukha na nababalot ng misteryo…
may mababaw na mga luha nguni’t
may malalim na pagkatao,
may mahaba at malambot na mga buhok nguni’t
may maikling pasensiya,
may malalaki at maningning na pares ng mata nguni’t
bulag naman sa pagpapahalaga ng iba,
may talinong taglay nguni’t
may pag-aalinlangan sa pagmamahal na nadarama,
seryoso kung pagmamasdan nguni’t
may batang katauhang naglalaro sa kanya,
may hatid na tamis ang mga ngiti nguni’t
mga mata’y kasasalaminan ng kalungkutan…
misteryoso…
ano nga ba ang iyong lihim?
kaibigan?
sadyang kayhirap sabayan ng iyong mundong ginagalawan..
heto ka nga’t katabi nguni’t
bakit tila kay layo mo pa rin?!

...plead...

let me hold your hand,
stare at your angelic eyes and
whisper all the things my coward
heart couldn't...
let me kiss you and hug you
until every bit of loneliness subsides...
help me save this mortal from eternal unhappiness..
tell me the things i want to hear
for this fragile soul needed some comfort..
tell me...you love me too..
coz
my every existence was, is and always will be
because of you!

...kelan...

kelan kaya matatapos ang pagpatak
ng luha galing sa 'king mata?
kelan kaya hihinto ang patuloy
na pagkauyam sa mundo?
kelan kaya titigil sa pagtibok
ang pusong nagmamahal ng todo?
kelan kaya magwawakas ang pagdungaw
ng mga matang sa tuwina'y 'kaw
lamang ang hinahanap?
kelan kaya maililibing ang pagmamahal
kong inamag na ng panahon?

...titser...

tinuruan mo akong magmahal...binuhay mo ang isang nilalang na minsa'y namuhay sa kalamiganng mundo...tinuruan mo ang kanyang puso na magmahal ng sobra at totoo...pinaramdam mo sakanya na hindi siya nag-iisa, na may taong naandiyan para sa kanya...kaso dumating ka lang pala sa buhay ko para magturo...ngayon, nalilito at hanggang ngayo'y nangungulilasa mga ala-alang dati'y hatid...hinahanap-hanap ang mga sandaling kasa-kasama...tinuruan mo nga kong magmahal nguni't 'di mo naman ako tinuruan ng paraan upang ika'ymakalimutan...

...a letter for no one...

i don't know where to start, please read this alone...

I've fallen for you ever since were first year...i don't know how, don't know when I've been feeling this, i just know that if i don't get this out of my heart, I'm gonna be crazy...

it must be your smile that moves me...
must be your intelligence that struck me hard...
must be your eyes that melts every part of me...
must be your hair that leaves me breathless...
must be your care that inspires me the most...

i don't know if this page would be enough to say the things that you do to me, all I know is that...I'm happy when we're together and you inspire me to be a better person but a part of my heart is saying something that my brain cant even recognize...i think I'm in love with you. i know its wrong and i know its crazy...but please don't ignore me. i don't know how it happened too but I've been searching for answers myself but its not enough, i just cant dump this feeling howling everytime that I'm with you...please do say what you feel for me, I'm not hoping but please do give me some light coz i don't know what I'm gonna do now...if it turns out that you're not feeling the same way as i do for you, please do say it...im not gonna bite,though it will really give a big burden in my life, it doesn't matter at least a load of it got lighter coz i said what my heart truly desires. but if it turns out to be the same, I'm not gonna take much of your time, i never will give you a weight in your world but please allow me to be the one to take it; ill do my best to protect the one that gave me new life and meaning to live.

if our beginning comes to an end, im not gonna be sad or regret it coz you let melove you...and thats all that matters...