...be my hope, my strength...

i pricked my finger just to feel something, shouted my lungs out just to let it out and cursed under my breath just to see if it will have an effect. my life is completely fucked up and i' m losing my head.

everytime i feel a sudden bliss, someone or something will take it away..like i don't deserve it. everybody has a go on me...

myself, ah, myself. i hope you can go easy on her coz we've been weaving our own dreams to reality now. running tru walls and strong winds just to prove that anything can be made if only you have patience, determination and got a thick face to make it happen! tremendously enough we've been enduring our misfortunes and crap...

can somebody turn off my fucking head??? tell my brain to stop thinking, stop worrying coz its driving me crazy...

loneliness is killing me!!
being independent is liberating but it can ruin you too
i just need someone, ryt now.
to hold my hand,
stroke my hair,
hug me tight,
and whisper to my ear: "shh, calm down...it's gonna be ok".
coz
this wave of emotions is out of my hands now.
i cant control it.
be my strength, be my hope...
tame thy demons that rain inside me!
i need someone, anybody??
coz
if there's no one...
then i'll have to hold my own hand again,
pretending it is someone who cares,
someone who really gives a crap about me,
not just pity.
but pure affection,
pure love...
T-T