"A stick of nicotine a day keeps the psychologist away." -Rinna
I befriended nicotine ever since I was just twelve and quite frankly, until today we have the tightest bond ever! I never really knew why I cling so much to it, all I know is that it started with a simple curiosity.
I'm a type of kid that wants to try all and knowing smokes were on the trend, I wanted to try it. And then I tried it, it never really gave me any satisfaction back then and I even ask, why the heck people do want it? It's just a piece of nonsense crap! But then I grew up, my life started to be complicated and problems doubled up everyday. I'm really not that open to other people back then and never really talk to anyone with things that keep eating me up inside. So, I found company in smoking. I finally found its purpose - my outlet and my sweet serenity.
Have you ever felt so down, pissed, bored or at lost and you just wanna do something to ease it? What is your solution to ease it? Mine is to smoke. I don't have a direct explanation why but all I know is that when life is giving me a hard time and i feel so darn perplexed, smoking makes me think clearly. A sweet silence that releases tension, everything is just in its constant slow motion, pain is dropping by an inch, boredom runs away and problems? Well, since everything is in slow motion it gives you enough time to think what is really happening or how you should approach this and that. I don't find solutions in smoking, it HELPS me find the solution.
Don't get me wrong I'm not so attached to smoking that I'm actually addicted to it, Yes I do smoke but I'm not totally dependent on it. I can even stop smoking for a month or even a year! But I guess to totally quit as in I won't ever smoke again for the rest of my life? I will have to say no. Coz for me, it is my back up emotional help.
It's hard to explain, but sometimes to have to do what works for you, what helps you...just to get through the day.
I'm a type of kid that wants to try all and knowing smokes were on the trend, I wanted to try it. And then I tried it, it never really gave me any satisfaction back then and I even ask, why the heck people do want it? It's just a piece of nonsense crap! But then I grew up, my life started to be complicated and problems doubled up everyday. I'm really not that open to other people back then and never really talk to anyone with things that keep eating me up inside. So, I found company in smoking. I finally found its purpose - my outlet and my sweet serenity.
Have you ever felt so down, pissed, bored or at lost and you just wanna do something to ease it? What is your solution to ease it? Mine is to smoke. I don't have a direct explanation why but all I know is that when life is giving me a hard time and i feel so darn perplexed, smoking makes me think clearly. A sweet silence that releases tension, everything is just in its constant slow motion, pain is dropping by an inch, boredom runs away and problems? Well, since everything is in slow motion it gives you enough time to think what is really happening or how you should approach this and that. I don't find solutions in smoking, it HELPS me find the solution.
Don't get me wrong I'm not so attached to smoking that I'm actually addicted to it, Yes I do smoke but I'm not totally dependent on it. I can even stop smoking for a month or even a year! But I guess to totally quit as in I won't ever smoke again for the rest of my life? I will have to say no. Coz for me, it is my back up emotional help.
It's hard to explain, but sometimes to have to do what works for you, what helps you...just to get through the day.
